Sunday, November 8, 2009

I Was Found Guilty At The Hearing

The Hippie Hideout in Sackville (N.B.) has become part of my Cambridge-Narrows to Halifax commute. It's hard to believe that I once issued a fatwa against them. It just goes to prove that forgiveness is part of my vocabulary, though Mr.Horton shouldn't look for it anytime soon.

The Hippie Hideout has a real name; the Bridge Street cafe. I prefer Hippie Hideout (HH), because that's what it is. I've never seen a bridge on Bridge Street, so there. I was unaware that the HH had a farmer's market within the cafe every Saturday, but I was delighted to find it. It's not really farmers that exhibit their wares, given that the woman who I bought my Indian lunch from was wearing a sari. Try driving a tractor in a sari...I did. It was a disaster.

I stepped up to my sari wearing friend, looked at her offerings and pointed to what I wanted. I had no idea what I was ordering, but it looked and smelled great. She scooped a couple of MLOs (meatball looking objects) into a styrofoam container, then she put an oversized spoon into a container of rice, looked at me and said "penis okay?"

I paused, as I often do in situations like this. My immediate thought was to reply 'he's fine, sleeping at the moment', but I held back. There was quite a commotion in the HH; lots of chattering granolas. A two piece band was playing in the front of the cafe. I could barely hear myself think, let alone come up with a reply to her question. I wondered if perhaps I had misheard her. I leaned down to get closer. She was not a tall woman and I sometimes have trouble hearing short people in noisy rooms. She had a thick Indian accent and was very soft spoken. The lag in my response prompted her to repeat herself.

"Peanuts okay?"

I looked into the rice container and identified some peanuts. I thought they were june bugs, so you can imagine my relief.

"Yes, peanuts okay," I replied.


  1. Can be just as difficult for those of us on the short end of the stick to hear the stupidly tall. Just sayin'

  2. I understand June bugs are an excellent source of protein. Hard to find out of season, though.

  3. Yes, they weren't kidding when they called them June bugs, though I've seen them in May on occasion.

    To Kittsie...I'm sorry about my stupid tallness, and I'm willing to get down on my knees to apologize. At least then we can have a decent conversation.