It's July 4 and you'd expect a parade. You'd expect large gatherings of strange people congregating on grassy lawns , eating mysterious foods barbequed beyond recognition. You'd expect a lot of flag waving and community spirit. A band should be playing foot stompin' tunes outside the hallowed halls of municipal government.
But this isn't America, it's Canada.
Oh, what the hell, let's have Cambridge-Narrows Community Day on July the 4th, a happy cross border co-inkydink.
Community Day is the one day that you can get out and meet n' greet your neighbours. It's also the one day that regular citizens can do what young Johnny does every day, ride his horse and/or four-wheeler down the middle of the highway. Community Day gives the Shriners the green light to act like Hell's Angels, bunching in up in packs and terrorizing the innocents with their squealing tires and menacing headgear which, by the way, doubles handily as an over-sized popcorn bucket, should you ever need one. Just give it a shake...you don't want fuzzy fez follicles in your puffed maize.
The parade starts at 11 a.m. and lasts a good half hour. You'd think that my favourite part of the parade would be watching the clowns, kids on streamer ladened bikes, fire trucks with sirens blaring and lights flashing, or Duncan revving his Corvette, not to mention the lavishly decorated floats.
In fact, my favourite part of the parade has always been watching the cars at the end of the line, filled with angry city folks who had no idea there was a parade. These unfortunates spend thirty minutes traveling one long kilometre at a pony's pace, with no chance to pass. If you're watching the parade and are uncertain who they are, they're the ones who neither smile nor wave.
I like to give them a big wave anyway...nobody's going to rain on my parade, not that that could ever happen. After all, Rose said it would be sunny and hot with no probability of precipitation.