Sunday, May 3, 2009

Seriously, Stop Shawn

I think that we, the people, should tell the Premier of New Brunswick that we're not interested in running the ferries at a municipal level, or having them privatized. Let's allow the Liberal government to take all the ferries out of service.

All of them!

Let's cut service to every last one of them: Gagetown, Hampstead, Evandale, Belleisle, Westfield, Summerville-Millidgeville, Kennebecasis Island, Gondola Point and Deer Island. It's a ridiculous suggestion, but we'd be making a point. Let's take them out of service tomorrow (isn't two weeks notice a bit generous?).

We'll get by, somehow. The people of Deer island won't starve as they'll be able to subside on farmed salmon. Sure, they'll get scurvy, but with no access to government funded health care, the Liberals will save even more money, and free up some hospital beds. We'll sell the beds on Kijiji to raise some cash.

Let's kill the Village of Gagetown or, at least, crush its spirit...and its future. Let's allow the residents of the Kingston Peninsula to enjoy a scenic drive through Hampton every day on their way to Quispamsis. The increased gas consumption will lead to more tax revenue for the provincial government. That money can be used to grow our own private label peanuts, which will be washed down with our new, and delightfully priced, provincial government home brew. Don't you just love frat house politics?

Let's just destroy what makes sense.

It won't be fun. We'll all have to make some sacrifices in the short term, like giving up access to the lower St. John River valley. It will mean a lot more driving for a lot more people. No longer able to enjoy the beauty of the lower St.John River valley, we'll all congregate on the beaches of Prince Edward Island, and commiserate. We'll go there this summer! We may as well gather in a province that understands its natural resources. Sitting on the Cavendish beaches, we'll regale the Ontario and Quebec tourists with ferry tales from the good old days (pre-Shawn Graham).

Life without the ferries will be inefficient and annoying, but don't worry, things will be back to normal in 2010...

After the election.

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