Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Fecal Position

Cambridge-Narrows is a splendid place in which to live, just be careful on whose toes you step, or for that matter, where you step in general.

A few years ago our Mayor and Village Council had the foresight to acquire a fifteen acre property in downtown Cambridge-Narrows. Not everyone thought it was a good idea at the time, and some cried quite loudly at a public meeting to discuss the acquisition. Some of these vocal critics may still be whining but I wouldn't know because I seem to travel in different social circles. Everyone I know seems to love the property, now known as the Pines Conservation Park.

The Pines Conservation Park is a work in progress. We're still trying to figure out exactly how it should be developed, if at all. Certainly some walking trails are needed. These trails will allow individuals to explore the shore, cliffs, fields and forest. Some scenic overlooks might be in order, since the view of the north lake and western narrows is quite sumptuous.

There is some discussion at the moment regarding what rules and regulations need to be in place so that the park is safe and fun for everyone. For example, are ATVs welcome? The answer is no. Or should dogs be allowed? The Pines Conservation Park is a great place to walk your dog...or is it? A conservation park, by my definition, is a place where humans should be able to enjoy (relatively) untouched natural beauty. Ideally I'd like to see a place where a forest could grow old without fear of the almighty chainsaw.

I'd also like to be able to walk in a place where I'm not worried about stepping in a pile of dog shit. Do dogs belong in a conservation park? If yes, can we trust dog owners to scoop their poop? So far we can't.
Come here, Watson! Looks like Fido has left us a little evidence at the crime scene!!
The Pines Conservation Park is open for everyone, but no one deserves to step in Lassie's little lumps. So, should dogs be allowed in the Pines Conservation Park? Is the park for humans and pets, or just humans? You tell me. I'm still shitting on the fence, sho to shpeak.
Seriously, I'm not sure if dogs should be allowed in the park. In Central Park (New York City), there are dogs everywhere, and the squirrels are nervous. For the most part, dog owners are responsible in NYC and they clean up after their pets, but there's still a lot of dung being flung. I wouldn't dare sit on the grass in Central Park, and if I did you can rest assured that I'd wash my hands and launder my Levis when I got home.
I wouldn't want the Pines Conservation Park to become a place where I always had to watch where I put my foot. Usually it's in my mouth, so you see my concern.


  1. Maybe you could throw hand fulls of dog shit at the speed boats that you detest so much....just a thought.

  2. Why not just throw the dog owner off the bridge, preferably when a boat is going by?