Easter has me confused. On Good Friday I saw the Easter Beaver. On Saturday I was at a family member's home where they raise chickens. They have only twelve chickens, flying comfortably under the Colonel's radar. They're egg laying chickens anyway, not candidates for a crispy outer coating. Every morning these chickens lay eggs but not one of them laid a chocolate egg in my presence. That came as no real surprise, because it's the Easter bunny that brings the eggs, right?
To make things even more befuddling, they also had a pet rabbit living in the chicken coop, but it laid no eggs of any constitution. A few days earlier I had seen a Cadbury bunny laying chocolate eggs on television, so I knew how things worked. I was nobody's fool.
For lunch we had hamburgers, quite baffling by definition since they're made of cattle, not of pork. There were also hot dogs, rumoured to be of porcine provenance but named after canines. It hardly mattered as I wolfed them down. For dessert we enjoyed a delicious chocolate cake, no doubt made from eggs. Chocolate eggs, that is. I look up....my wife is wearing a pig snout and eating chocolate cake.
I lose it.
When I finally regain composure someone suggests that Jesus was involved with Easter. Huh?