Saturday, April 11, 2009

My Easter Bunny Eats Trees

Apparently there's some mythical creature called the easter bunny that visits people and leaves chocolate eggs scattered all over their houses. Well, I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but that's not the way things happen where I live. There are no rabbits, or bunnies, in Cambridge-Narrows...that's because I'm visited by the Easter Beaver.

Beavers are a very much misunderstood animal. People always talk about the busy beaver but I ask you 'have you ever seen one working in the winter'? No, they plunk their lazy asses down indoors all winter and just lay around. They spend the spring, summer and fall playing around in the call that a work ethic? If the Royal Order of Leisurologists (Canadian chapter) ever seek out a mascot...well, I don't need to point out the obvious.

The beaver is supposed to be a Canadian icon like the maple leaf or the timbit?? People, it's a lazy rodent and nothing more. Sure it appears on our money, but so does the queen , a sailboat and an caribou that little kids call a moose. The beaver has hobbies...deforestation and flooding. It's fifty pounds of teeth and terror but for one day a year it shows its tender side and visits the good people of Cambridge-Narrows.

The Easter Beaver brought me a white chocolate bunny. How do I know it was the Easter Beaver and not the bunny? I'd love to explain my reasoning but there's a large tree that's fallen on my lawn and I've got to go tidy things up.

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