Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm all over Google these days because the search results are often more entertaining than the content. For example, I typed in 'famous leisurologists', hoping to find some information for this morning's post. Google asked me if what I really meant was 'leis urologist'. Of course, Googlebot, that's what I was really researching...flower-wearing Hawaiian urologists. I won't fault the Googlebot for trying to read my mind, after all, look with what it has to work. Good luck trying to read my mind.

I didn't find the above picture by searching 'leis urologist' in Google. I was a bit pissed off to find nothing interesting in my urological search so I had to create my own image. Should I upload my image to Google, in case someone else is searching leis urologist?

Needless to say, I found very little about leisurologists online. It's not that we're an endangered species (though, in fact, we are), it's more that we never really prospered in the first place. Let's start by examining what a leisurologist is...

A leisurologist is a stay at home man or woman, who forsakes Oprah, the Young and the Restless, Dr.Phil, Regis and Kelly, and The View for a life of outdoor leisure pursuits. Sure, there's couch time, but it is not used frivolously (see Oprah, the Young and the Restless, Dr.Phil, Regis and Kelly, The View and blog posting). It's used to read, create or self-enlighten.

The 'catch' in this profession is the kids. Without the kids a leisurologist would basically be a younger version of the Hef sans job, bunnies and mansion. Sure, you could argue that The Hef has kids, but who do you think he tucks into bed at night?

A leisurologist takes parenting very seriously, but the split second that a window of opportunity presents itself, he/she is gone. During the early years of parenting, with kids at home, the leisurologist has to lay low, to the point of being dormant. The leisurologist comes into his/her own during the following times:

grades 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12....

...but only after the dishes, vacuuming and laundry are done.

Are you thinking that leisurology sounds like 1950s housewifery without the apron and the nine-to-five husband who drives a Buick? Perhaps it is. The traditional roles of men and women no longer mean anything in our society. Anyone can be anything. It takes strategy to become a leisurologist though.

Many couples living in non-hinter areas need two paychecks to furnish their over-sized homes and meet their mortgage commitments. It's just the way it is in western society. If you want to become a leisurologist and live in an urban environment...good luck! Unless, of course, you marry a urologist.

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